Humorous Stories
Jimmy Blatzo saw three large brownie squares in a Ziploc bag on the table. He grabbed the squares. "This is your punishment."
He pulled one out and crammed it into his mouth.
"May I have the bag back?" Justine asked. "Reduce. Reuse. Recycle."
"Not a chance," he said, chewing. He marched out of the cafeteria.
"That's too bad," Justine told Michael and Safdar.
"What?" Safdar asked. "That you just made enemies with the biggest bully in the school?"
"Or that he drank your juice, smashed your sandwiches and took your dessert?" said Michael.
"No," said Justine. "That he took the Ziploc bag. I was hoping to use it for the whole school year. Plus, those brownies were part of my science project."
"Did you know, if nine kids walk to school all year instead of going in cars or buses, it stops over a ton of carbon dioxide from going into the air? It also saves gas. The less gas we use, the less we have to drill for oil. And that's good too. Plus, walking is healthier for kids."
"Let me guess," Safdar said. "You have a plan. Again."
"Of course I do," Justine said. "I am the Queen of Green."
Koppel plunked the meat grinder down on the table.
"Tell her what you told me," he said.
Yetta rolled her eyes. "Oy vey, he's talking to a meat grinder."
"Tell her!" shouted Koppel.
The meat grinder was silent.
"Does it know any chicken jokes?" Yetta giggled. "It sings 'My Yiddishe Mama' maybe?"
I hadn't had so much fun since the last time I got locked out of the house in my underwear.
Lorsque j'arrive á la maison, je suis déjà ce que je dois faire. C'est clair comme le jour. Il faut que je quitte le pays.
Our school teams always lost. It didn't matter what sport—basketball, soccer, baseball, volleyball or hockey —we sucked at them all. I'd been on all our school teams every year since grade six and we'd never had a winning team. Forget winning team, we'd hardly ever had a win.
